


Meh, What's Up, Doc?

by mia kulpah (nina_monk)



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Incredible Hulk (2008)
Genre: Crack Fic, Gen, Science Bros Week, Spark was the theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-13
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:55:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7471728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nina_monk/pseuds/mia%20kulpah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony’s family-friendly prototype drives Bruce up the wall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meh, What's Up, Doc?

Bruce gently turned the little figurine over and over in his hands. He was close to face-palming. Dangerously close.

“Tony…”

“It’s cute, right?” He snatched the grinning light bulb from Bruce (and really, its rictus grin was truly terrifying), and held it up to the lights in their lab. “Adorable, some might say.”

“Adorably ugly,” Bruce muttered under his breath, but Tony was too enamored with his toy to hear him. He cleared his throat and tried again. “You say this is the 3D model for an upcoming children’s cartoon?”

“Yep. Starting in autumn.” Tony gleefully rubbed his hands as the light bulb glowed a little. “Hee - it works, Brucekins, it’s really glowing. Gotta love our R&D.”

“Is it glowing because it’s radioactive?”

“Is it–?” Tony grimaced at him. “Bruce. C'mon. Kids’ll be playing with this, man. Of _course_ it’s not radioactive, dammit.”

Bruce let out a long, lingering sigh and plucked the hideous thing from Tony’s fingers. “Okay. Fine. It’s weirdly cute, I guess. But why does the light bulb have a mustache?”

Tony’s grin threatened to split his face. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what?”

“The character’s name is Spark.”

“Spark…? And–?”

Tony bobbed on his toes, grinning like a maniac, threatening to reach the atmosphere on pure glee alone. “ _Spark_ , Brucie! As in, ’ _Tony_ Spark.’ As in–”

Bruce groaned. “Aaagh! That’s the worst pun I’ve ever heard!”

“But catchy, right?” His megawatt grin finally faded to near normal levels. “The program’s premise is to help young science students learn about alternative power and saving the environment, and how to use those skills in everyday life. I really owe all of it to you, big guy. You’re the one who screamed about Water Defense and clean energy and climate change. Why not start from the source, right? With the kids?”

“I was not ‘screaming,’” Bruce grumbled. He snatched back the light bulb from Tony’s grabby hands and reviewed the toy with a critical eye. “I guess it’s okay. I mean, it’s way too gimmicky–”

“Of course.”

“But if it helps the kids learn, and the gimmick is a not-so-gentle reminder…”

“Don’t forget, light bulbs symbolize great ideas.”

“And that.” Bruce’s sigh was long and drawn and long suffering, but he knew a losing battle when he saw one. And Tony was…sort of right. He’d concede that much. “Okay,” he finally said. “I admit it, it’ll work. Weird though it is, I can see it.”

“Thank you, Dr. Banner.”

Bruce noticed Tony’s grin forming again, and a pit began growing in his stomach. “What, there’s more?”

“Oh, yeah.” A giggle spilled from Tony’s lips and Bruce felt himself cringing. No giggle from Tony Spark–er, _Stark_ – was ever a good sign.

“Oh, god, what? What is it?”

“It’s not a solo show.”

“What do you mean, ‘it’s not a solo show’?”

“Mr. Spark has a partner.”

“A…partner?” The pit in Bruce’s belly grew. “What kind of partner?”

Tony laughed, and whipped out another figurine from his pocket. Bruce plucked it from Tony’s fingers with even more exaggerated care than the light bulb. “Is this…is it an anthropomorphic lapin, of some kind?”

The figurine wore a tiny little vest which covered a wrinkled shirt. And it had glasses. And a tuft of plastic, curly black hair went off in weird directions between its ears.

“Oh…no.” Bruce’s eyes grew comically wide. “No, Tony. _No_.”

“I had to!” Tony laughed his fool head off. “It’s a cute widdle wabbit, Bruce. It has a little purple shirt, see? And tiny glasses just like yours.”

“It’s not wearing any pants.”

“Rabbits don’t wear pants, Bruce.”

“They don’t wear vests or glasses, either!”

“You’re missing the best part.”

Bruce _did_ face-palm, this time. “Don’t tell me.”

Tony ignored him. “This little guy explains the science part of the program, Bruce. Mr. Spark gives the ideas, but the rabbit explains how science works. He even has his own little segments where he uses chalkboards and he also shows little film clips. He’s the perfect compliment to Mr. Spark.”

Bruce kept his head in his hands. “His _name_ , Tony,” he moaned, his voice muffled by his fingers. “Please don’t tell me the rabbit’s name is–”

“It’s Doctor Bruce Bunner!” Tony’s giggles turned into full on laughter, and Bruce ran his hand down his face. “The show is tentatively titled, 'Spark and Bunner’s Razzle-Dazzle Science Symposium.’ Isn’t that great?”

“Glorious,” Bruce muttered darkly.

He wondered if it was too late to buy a one-way ticket back to Kolkata.

**Author's Note:**

> Pure cracky goodness for Science Bros Week 2016!


End file.
